I would like to believe that this is a function of being young and naive and needing attention. I know when I was in my early twenties, mention of my boyfriend (if I had one) didn’t always make it into conversation, which eventually led to several sort of not-dates with guys I’d met at concerts or parties or whatever, which probably ended with them just being confused. At the time I justified it by telling myself that they had never specifically asked if I was in a relationship. But now that I’m older and wiser, it’s easier to just mention it. Casually! No need to make anyone feel awkward! Here, try it with me:
Lady: I’m from LA.
Dude: Oh, cool. My girlfriend and I just got back from there.
See how easy that was?
Let’s Do the Two-Step Monogamy Shuffle Again! - Dating - Gawker
I’ve been thinking about writing a post about this very phenomenon: how the fact that men and women are allowed to be friends (yay!) sometimes results in you going on an ambigudate (or even a not-ambigu one) with someone who is actually very much spoken for, but who fails to mention it. And Doree Shafer has summed it up brilliantly in this Gawker post: flirting is fun, even when you’re in a relationship. Being devoted to your partner doesn’t mean that you don’t fancy someone else once in awhile. But carrying on with the flirting to the extent that it turns into something datelike without mentioning your partner, when you are aware that this other person is getting the wrong idea about your interest? Uncool, immature, and potentially manipulative - both towards your unsuspecting new friend and your partner. Following the script that Doree gives here: highly recommended.
