“ She peered at it on my BlackBerry screen. ‘No! He will have no idea you like him! So what if he has a girlfriend, let’s floorsie her!’ (Floorsie is a Nic expression developed to stop Lizzie pawing with her front hoof for treats. It means ‘put it on the floor’, or ‘stop’.) So I added, ‘I am in Paris, it is so beautiful. [I wish I could stop lying when it comes to the opposite sex; I always feel the need to embellish reality, make myself seem more exotic and interesting.] I really enjoyed talking to you last night. Liz x.’ Nic deemed the ‘x’ necessary: friendly but not too flirty. Honestly, you would think I was 13 years old. The next day, I waited… Then, the next morning, I woke up to this… ‘Morning, Liz. Hope you’re enjoying Paris. Humag x.’ He sent a kiss! He sent a kiss! I showed it to Nic. ‘See, I’m good at this. Now we have to carefully draft your reply.’
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LIZ JONES’S DIARY: In which I receive a BlackBerry kiss | Mail Online
Oh, Liz Jones, DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF. Although I suppose getting involved in this kind of excruciating correspondence is one way of generating many month’s worth of columns.
