Himglish and Femalese: Why Women Don't Get Why Men Don't Get Them is a relationship book for everyone who's over relationship books: a fresh new guide to lead you through the perplexing questions of what it means to be a man or a woman and to live with men and women in the twenty-first century.

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Jean Hannah Edelstein is a relationship expert for the post-Sex and the City era: combining New York sass with British wit, Jean draws equally on experiential and anecdotal evidence, as well as the latest scientific studies, to deliver a witty, edgy and definitive manual - dare we also say womanual? - to understanding your partner/husband/wife/ boyfriend/girlfriend and any permutations thereof.

Himglish and Femalese is available in good bookshops in the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa (and soon also to be found in translation in Slovenia). Check back here daily for Jean's erudite observations, thoughts on hot topics in the news, and answers to your pressing questions. Or other people's pressing questions. Or pressing questions that you ask under an assumed name because you think they're too embarrassing.

Write to Jean! You know you want to. jean@himglishandfemalese.com



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September 19
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It's not too late to 'pologise.

L’shana tova! It’s the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, a time of year when it is appropriate to eat apples and honey and challah (for a sweet new year) and brisket (if this was a blog about cooking advice, rather than relationship advice, I would tell you that I have lately learned that making brisket is great, but making it for 16 people without the aid of someone to wash the dishes is not recommended).

But more than brisket, this is also a period, between now and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), which is designated in the Jewish calendar for reflection and apologising: to start the year freshly by ensuring that you have made amends for any lingering hurt or upset for which you feel responsibile.

And yes, my friends, that means it’s time to stop feeling bad about what happened between you and your ex and just say that you are sorry. I totally disagree with Mr Timbaland: it’s not too late to ‘pologise, because you should apologise whether or not you think it’s going to mend your relationship or give you a second chance or whatever. You should do it because you want to express your heartfelt regret, and the person you’ve wronged deserves to hear it.

I was discussing this with one friend of mine a few nights ago: she’d like to apologise to an ex who she had treated badly, she said, but she felt that phoning was too scary and putting it in an email too dangerous, for fear that it would get forwarded around, reopen the old argument. But that’s the thing about apologies: you just need to say that you’re sorry. You don’t need to go into details of what you are sorry about: the person who deserves the apology knows what you’re talking about, and so do you. Simple.

Thus? Whether or not you are Jewish, it doesn’t matter: this week, say that you’re sorry to someone whose heart you’ve broken. It will make you feel so much better.

 
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